i often wonder if it's normal to think of the past.
not long for it.
but appreciate the present more.
well, it is for me.
eighteen months ago
i was the opposite girl of who i am now.
i smirk at that.
eighteen months ago,
i was a heartbroken girl
nothing to do with anything.
my boyfriend and i broke up.
i had to wonder if it was as hard for him as it was for me.
but of course, it wasn't.
[he is a guy, after all].
what tore me apart the most is that only
two people knew the reason we broke up.
it was a big reason.
one you can't just avoid.
i was a wreck.
i wrote sad poems,
listened to depressing music,
and sort of wished i wasn't even at utah state
where nobody understood me.
if you fast forward four dragged on weeks..
you will find me at my happiest.
i met the man that would sweep me off my feet
and care for me the way nobody else had.
days like today,
i have to take myself back there.
to where i was.
i was not myself.
i was not secure. nor happy.
i am a lucky girl.
i also wish i could shout all of my lessons learned
to the whole universe.
it really is one of those 'lit up lightbulb' moments.
my lesson learned:
it does get better.
you have to have bad experiences to get you to the good.
sometimes, you have to remind yourself why you deserve to be happy.
don't give up or get rebellious.
you will be happier than a bird with a french fry shortly.
just give it time.