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losing the spark

blogged about a topic that has really got me thinking.

you know when you're dating,
and your heart gently skips a beat every time you kiss?
you receive a flirtatious text and you can't help but smile to yourself? 
you are extremely twitterpated, infatuated, 
& can't concentrate on anything other than your man?

when you get married, 
things change.
you are used to living with each other.

k y'all. you can't get me wrong, here. 
when my husband walks in the door,
i get super excited and run up and hug him.
 things like that haven't..and won't change.

however, i do have some friends
who really feel like their love life has altered a bit.
they are in love. but not in lust anymore. 
i believe both are important. 
it is important to want to rip your spouse's clothes off! ha. 
i think so many people are so eager to get married
and once they are, they realize it's awesome and fun...
but now what? 
a lot of people feel like that.
{me excluded}
but it definitely does interest me.

as you know, i believe date nights are crucial to keeping your spark.
i think you need to put more effort into it than you think.
you have to serve your spouse.

usually,
when you hear about 
"losing the spark" 
it is couples who have been married for a loonngg time.

but i do have some good friends that are newlyweds
who feel this way.
personally, i think it's sad.
newlyweds should be giddy and excited and feel constant butterflies.
heck, i want to feel like this forever.



how do you keep your spark alive? 
what advice would you give to couples struggling with keeping that "spark?"  




16 comments

  1. I have noticed the same thing. It seems like couples get into a routine and don't deviate for dates and alone time. It is super important like you said to date and continue to grow your relationship! I love how in love I am with my hubby and we're going to work to keep it that way. Your posts are always thought provoking. Love it!

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  2. i think the best advice to keep the spark or to not ""fall out of love" is to love them. simple. love them AS A VERB. when you serve someone and constantly show your love, you love them. the end.

    kerrirogers.blogspot.com

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  3. It is so sad. Mine and my hubby's situation is a huge story and I won't even go there...but we are working on finding that spark! I WANT it. Marriage always takes work, not hard... the-kind-you-hate work, but effort. I think people just expect things to continue on happily ever after...and it doesn't work that way. I'm so happy that you have an amazing, spark filled marriage! So inspiring to see :-)

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  4. I think a lot of people concentrate so hard on the wedding planning they don't focus on the little things that keep a marriage going and strong.
    2 things I learned through dating, you gotta find someone you find ridiculously hot and funny. Haven't lost our spark yet..
    Oh! Variety is the spice of life! In all ways!

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  5. i'm so glad you said this, because i'm the same way! i don't feel like that but i don't want it to happen! i agree 100% about date night being a must..and always courting each other and surprising each other! you are the cutest happy weekend..have a fun date night! XO

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  6. It gets harder when you have a busy demanding toddler! I focus on making sure I greet him when he comes home each evening (which has been hard when I've been laying dead on the couch for the last 12 weeks!). He is great about hugging and kissing me while I cook, which is awesome.

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  7. i try to make every kiss mean something to me. I dont know about him...but putting thoughts and feelings behind every kiss makes it so each kiss he i get from him gives me the chills!

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  8. I found a perfect post for married men and women to read.

    http://girlsguideto.com/article/15-ways-stay-married-15-years

    I find this very very cute and helpful.

    Cody
    solemnsound.blogspot.com

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  9. wow...my husband and i were JUST talking about this on the drive to treasure island last week. I told him it sucks that the butterflies go away because it is THE BEST feeling in the world. we are currently working on ways to bring it back. We have only been married going on two years and I cant believe we've already fallen out of lust with eachother. :( im sure things will gradually get better though! no matter what we are the best of friends and that helps.

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  10. It's so simple, but make sure that you are taking time to laugh and be silly. I find that the times when I am able to talk and have fun with my husband are the times that I feel happiest and closest to him.

    Also, trying something new together, these make great memories!

    Alexis

    swaney e

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  11. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. We def do not have that spark anymore but I couldn't imagine my life without him. To be honest I don't think it's possible to have those butterflies forever. Those butterflies are more of a nervous does he like me feeling. I think when you feel 100 % secure w your man those butterflies and the anxiety you use to get are gone bc you feel safe & secure. Just a thought.

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  12. When you put God first in a marriage, then that marriage prospers. Meaning read your scriptures togehter, attend the temple together, say daily prayers together, and serve and communicate, even if it is awckward communicating sometimes. There are other important things but I believe these are the essentials. And when you do this the spark returns and you grow more in love. I've been married almost 3 years and we have a kid and I love it! I love waking up and looking at the man of my dreams and he loves kissing and surprising me and kissing me more. We love to run up to each other and have dinner together, snuggle together, go on date nights togehter, slow dance together. It sounds like a fairy tale romance and it is and can be when you put God first and serve and communicate. Then you realize that you have the hottest spouse on earth and just want to 'rip of their clothes'. lol

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  13. When you put God first in a marriage, then that marriage prospers. Meaning read your scriptures togehter, attend the temple together, say daily prayers together, and serve and communicate, even if it is awckward communicating sometimes. There are other important things but I believe these are the essentials. And when you do this the spark returns and you grow more in love. I've been married almost 3 years and we have a kid and I love it! I love waking up and looking at the man of my dreams and he loves kissing and surprising me and kissing me more. We love to run up to each other and have dinner together, snuggle together, go on date nights togehter, slow dance together. It sounds like a fairy tale romance and it is and can be when you put God first and serve and communicate. Then you realize that you have the hottest spouse on earth and just want to 'rip of their clothes'. lol

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  14. I totally agree!
    I think one of the biggest this is for us girls to be into our men.
    I mean they always want to kiss and get nakey and well you know lets face it have sex, but women tend to make excuses to easily.
    This may be kind of personal, but I have learned that if I am initiating the intimacy our sparky is much sparkier! ;)

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  15. i loved this post oh so much! i'm just now getting a chance to look at your blog (thanks for the sweet comment today, btw) and im so glad i did! this advice was so encouraging to little ol me who is about to get married. thanks so so so so much, you are a great writer! can't wait to stalk your blog harder :)

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