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nightmares & frowny faces

i strive to live life to the fullest.
be a little more optimistic, a little more happy, and a little more grateful.
but  i have had so many nightmares lately. bad ones.
the kind that leave you angry for weeks and weeks.
mr. schroeder has been sick for a few years.
i am sure it's minuscule and minute.
i am sure it really is nothing at all. 
but i get so terrified. 
i have nightmares. or even negative thoughts.
and wake up crying. like wimpering. and just unexplainably sad.
and he.. half asleep.. and so extremely sympathetic,
holds me in his arms and tells me he is not going anywhere.
tonight, it seems to have gotten worse.
and i'm not quite sure if it's the adversary trying to get to me, 
or if i'm really needing some sort of answers here. 
i cannot sleep.
and i am ultimately the most scared person on the planet right now. 
i have three wishes. 

1. a doctor for my trevor that really cared about him.
 a doctor that could find out more about him.
 and a doctor who ultimately just wanted to help. 
do they even exist? 
doubt it.

2. i want a healthy trevor. 

3. i want these nightmares to stop.


9 comments

  1. My heart breaks for you! I HATE those feelings and those nightmares. I remember having those fears and nightmares when I first got married. You and Mr. Schroeder will be in my prayers. I feel like as women we fear, feel and think WAY too much. Our thoughts grab a hold of us sometimes and don't seem to let us go. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers! Hope you find a doctor you need soon!

    xo, Sam

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  2. Bless your heart...

    Sounds like a really difficult situation. I'll remember to pray for you guys.

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  3. Keeping your in my prayers!
    XO
    E

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  4. Praying for you sweet girl!

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  5. Ah, that is terrible!! Nightmares and stupid, I definitely don't blame you for wanting them to go away! There must be a doctor out there that can help your husband!! I'll be saying a few extra prayers for you guys tonight!

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  6. :(

    i seriously hope that you can find a doctor. that is so hard. i wish you the absolute best!

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  7. I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. I'll be sure to keep you and Trevor in my prayers.
    Hugs!

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  8. if only you could see the tears running down my face right now. my heart aches for you. but you will be in my prayers!

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