i strive to live life to the fullest.
be a little more optimistic, a little more happy, and a little more grateful.
but i have had so many nightmares lately. bad ones.
the kind that leave you angry for weeks and weeks.
mr. schroeder has been sick for a few years.
i am sure it's minuscule and minute.
i am sure it really is nothing at all.
but i get so terrified.
i have nightmares. or even negative thoughts.
and wake up crying. like wimpering. and just unexplainably sad.
and he.. half asleep.. and so extremely sympathetic,
holds me in his arms and tells me he is not going anywhere.
tonight, it seems to have gotten worse.
and i'm not quite sure if it's the adversary trying to get to me,
or if i'm really needing some sort of answers here.
i cannot sleep.
and i am ultimately the most scared person on the planet right now.
i have three wishes.
1. a doctor for my trevor that really cared about him.
a doctor that could find out more about him.
and a doctor who ultimately just wanted to help.
do they even exist?
2. i want a healthy trevor.
3. i want these nightmares to stop.