how do you know?

bethany from love the grows inspired this post.
sometimes, i read other bloggers post, and think, 
"i want to tell you my input!" 
and i love this topic. i love talking about my husband 
& how i knew he was the one (and vice versa).
i get this question all. the. time. 
when i was engaged, all my friends asked me because they were 
about to get engaged, too. 
i am a mormon. we didn't do the deed until marriage.
that being said, some of these may not relate to you.
but i would still love everyone's input!
i have a few things that i can think of i'd love to share with you.

before i share how i knew..i'd like to clarify just a few things....

1. everybody receives revelation differently.
i thought this was interesting.
every single person isn't going to get this crazy big feeling and answer.
everyone won't just "know" when you first meet them.
everyone is different. i can't stress that enough.

2. you aren't going to get this big "WAHLAH moment." 
k maybe i shouldn't say that -- because some people really do.
a lot of my friends, including myself, pray to our Heavenly Father,
i recall asking him for help in deciding if mr. schroeder was the one or not.
i think most people expect this big
"angels came out of the sky & everything made sense"  answer.
more times than not, you will already know the answer.
you may be scared & you may not even like the answer,
but every single one of my friends say that they just knew.
sometimes, i like to say,
well, make a decision. and then you'll probably know.
for an example:
i almost got engaged to a boy i dated for quite awhile.
we decided to break up to see how we both felt before we took further steps.
sounds silly, i know.
but after the breakup, we both felt it was right.
and it was.
some people get engaged & see how they feel afterward.
i would rather take a step back than forward, though...
as far as this marriage stuff goes.

3. put your fears aside.
don't let fear get in the way of the person you are supposed to marry.
marriage is a huge decision--i know!
but if you already know this person is the one, what are you waiting for?
you're never going to be "ready" to get married.
just like you're never "ready" to have a baby.

okay, now let me tell you...
how did i know mr. schroeder was the one?
this put a smile on my lil face.

1. he was perfect on paper. 
what do i mean by this?
ever since i was in 7th grade, teachers, friends, & even my parents
would tell me to make a list of everything i want in a husband.
now these were pretty broad.
nothing like, "must like dip n dots as much as i do."
"has to have a 6 pack or i won't marry him..."

see? not too picky, right? these are all crucial to me.
by the way, mr. schroeder did have this whole list, soooo SCORE!

while dating, i began to think, "this guy on my list does not exist."
one guy i dated was abusive.
another guy was addicted to pornography.
one was a cheater.
one was way awesome, but i just wasn't feelin it.
did he even exist? am i being too picky?
i gave up on my list completely.
and then i found trevor, and the only thing i could think of
from that point forward was that he had every trait on my list!
literally...every. single. one.

*everyone has flaws. everyone makes mistakes. 
you guessed it. a perfect man does not exist. 
but a perfect man for you does exist. 
so if there's something your man does that bothers you,
take a look at it and think, 
"could this make it or break it?"*

a lovely activity/lesson i learned...
in institute. .. .
write 10-15 things you want in a future spouse.
then, take a look at the list, and think,
"do i posses these awesome qualities?"
you attract who you are. 
so if you are prideful, work on softening your heart.
if you aren't "fit," exercise.
if you want a man with a solid testimony, work on yours, too.
we can always better ourselves.

2. the respect he had toward his family..especially his mother.
mr. schroeder is a HUGE family man.
they are tight-knit and each loving toward each other.
there is no drama. ever.
when i met mr. schroeder, his mother was battling cancer.
going over to his house & watching him just sit and talk with her
completely melted my heart.
he would kneel down next to her, and stroke her hand,
smiling, looking into her eyes, and tell her he loved her.
it was precious.

3. a humble heart. 
let's face it. we can all be prideful.
including myself.
sometimes, i don't want to admit certain things, like i'm wrong.
because my pride sets in. and it kicks my butt.
mr. schroeder? no. he is the most humble person you will ever meet. ever.
if you compliment him, he is completely & utterly confused at the compliment.
sort of like a, "i didn't deserve that at all."

4. he respects my talents.
this is a big one. i dated a guy who hated the piano. really bad.
it broke my heart. and i fell away from practicing for a few years.
mr. schroeder encourages me to practice. he helps me fix strings when they break.
he takes precious time out of his day to help me move my harp if i have an event.
this is a HUGE one.

5. humor. 
i could never marry a man who didn't absolutely love the idea
of my mother sending fake poop to missionaries across the world to play jokes
on their companions. or a guy who wouldn't laugh at me if i did a weird face.
life would be so ultimately boring.
we laugh. a lot. and i nearly pee my pants a LOT of the time.

6. loves family time.
mr. schroeder loves hanging out with my family,
and going to family parties, and baptisms.
he adores them. & they adore him.

7. he gets along with everyone.
literally. you can't get on his bad side because he's so friendly.

8. he's probably the cutest guy ever with kids. 
the way he is with his nieces & nephews is indescribable.
he is just so cute. and i can't wait to make a family with him. love grows each and every day for this man.
these reasons were the big ones.
there are a million little ones that fall into the cracks i could mention.
but i'm afraid the list will exceed 100 internet pages.
we'll stop here.

how did you know if your significant other was 'the one?'
and if you are single, please please know that
the one is out there.
i never understood the quote so much until i was the founder.
"he'll come along when you least expect it."


  1. I love love LOVE that you put return missionary standards and not just returned missionary.

  2. ok, yes. "he will come along when you least expect it" and "i gave up on my list completely. and then i found trevor." yes! yes!!! that is what im always trying to tell people that are always so adamant about finding "the one". just relax. he will come along in his own time. i was in no way looking for anyone when i found my missionary but bam, there he was! all perfect and what not haha and although hes not my husband of course, i still think it counts. cause im kinda crazy in love with him :) i loved this post! thanks! (and maybe i should stop talking now...)

  3. I don't see a place to reply so I will just leave another comment. That is seriously my number one pet peeve when people say they have to marry an RM!! No one is perfect and RM's definitely are not exempt. I had a friend whom I love dearly turn away from an amazing guy, both in a relationship prospect and just as a friend, all because he hadn't gone on a mission. It was the hardest thing to watch, mostly on his part because although she never told him that was the reason, you could tell he knew. And guess what?! He's out on his mission right now, people change!! And this is me stepping off my soap box

  4. Totally off the record... but I am LOVING your new design too!!

  5. WHY THE CRAP AM I CRYING?!! i'm such a BOOB! this is so dang precious!

    it's a crazy feeling when you find someone who has every single quality on your list. now, i'm crossing my fingers and saying lots of prayers....hoping he is 'the one'. but, alas, patience is a virtue.

  6. I love this so much! I get more and more excited everyday for the day I met my future husband, cause each day he gets closer and closer!
    This really melted my heart!

  7. Such fun photos, I hope you have a great Christmas and I wish you the best of luck and hope 2013 is everything you hope it to be, happy new year.

    I'd love it if you could check my blog out and maybe we can follow each otheR

  8. I was the exact same. I sent a missionary off, and started hanging out with my sister and her fiance'. Then they introduced me to her finance's roommate. and bam! fell in love. The thing is, everything was so easy. And then I brought out my young womans list! and I was the same! every other guy I had dated was missing one thing from the list, or even a few. But my husband had everything and more!!! I love you're story! adroable!


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