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confrontation.


confrontation is definitely something i need to work on. i feel as if the only person i can confront is my husband. because we are so open & honest that it doesn't really matter what we say to one another. i'm just always conflicted when there is someone i need to confront & i know they are going to backfire on me, get defensive, and be more mad than they were in the first place. that's why i am conflicted. 

i remember my first year of college. i lived with 7 other girls. it was fun for the first semester. then things got cray cray. girls gossip. and a lot of them backstab, too. that's just how girls are. especially immature freshman. i gossiped, too. we all did it. one day, one of the room mates said, "instead of talking about this person and the things that bug you about them, why don't you just confront them? that way you aren't gossiping. and then you can just take care of the problem." fair enough. i took her advice. but then things got even more crazier. i would confront someone, and it would turn into a fight. why? because i truly feel like when you admit you're wrong, and when you apologize, the other person pours a million other things on you that really aren't your fault. each time i would confront someone, i would always be attacked. it was always my fault. and i was always in the wrong. no. that's not right at all. one thing throughout my marriage mr. schroeder & i both recognize is that it takes two. unless there's some crazy things going on with someone, it takes two. it's not one person's fault most of the time. i was also super frustrated because i would hear things through other girls..things i've done to piss people off. like..why don't you just come talk to me about it? that way i can take those words, better myself, move on, and not offend you again.

ever since then, i have avoided confrontation. but i think i need to confront more. man up, and face it. if i know ahead of time that a person is going to get extremely defensive and freak out on me, i won't. i will refrain. get over it. and move on with my life. but i think a lot of the time, a person doesn't know when they have said or done something inappropriate. facing them, and expressing your thoughts to them will only allow them to better themselves..i mean, if they take constructive criticism well. if i had done something to make someone sad, mad, or have any negative or ill feelings toward me, i would want to know. from them. 

don't ya think?

6 comments

  1. Oh I so needed this hear this today. I hate hate hate confrontation but I know sometimes it is needed. I really just wish people would do the confrontation for me, and then I can just talk it out, but that initial step, ya know?

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  2. I know how you feel. James and I have no problem "confronting" others. Although, with other people it's harder. I feel it's my fault I brought up anything and that I was too "harsh" but sometimes it has to happen.

    Cody
    catchingcodyk.blogspot.com

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  3. I LOVE your new blog design by the way!!!! :) And I had serious issues with confrontation when I lived with other girls. I was so worried about causing drama and still having to live with them :P

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  4. I love confronting people, and I love being confronted. I actually should probably tone it down at times, because I can be too upfront. I completely agree with your advice--I always tell people to just say what you feel. JUST SAY IT! Anyway, great post.

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  5. I Agree. But I like when people tell me whats up.. The good thing about expressing everything your feeling to your husband is that they have to love you anyways :) but, when it comes to girls, sometimes I feel like its always a competition. **Cute new design.

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  6. I loved this post, I have the hardest time with confrontation - this is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you. :)

    xo
    Hailey Devine

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