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humbled & thankful.

 
i need to vent. about my life. right now. i used to do thankful thursday's. & it might be a little bit of a coincidence to post this today. but boy. i am so grateful for my life right now. through the past few months, i have been dealing with some major anxiety & rough things. i have struggled with forgiving myself, with moving on, & with trials i can't seem to just let go. after having an amazing talk with my heavenly father & studying His word, my heart has changed. i went to church by myself last week, because mr. schroeder was sick. a girl talked all about conversion. & though i have been a member of the lds church my whole life, i have truly been converted.
 
today, i am grateful for so many things. i am grateful for new friendships. i believe blogging is more than letting my emotions go. i met a wonderful girl today named jana. she blogs at a day in the life & is one of the biggest blessings in my life lately. she will randomly text me a quote i happened to just need to hear...at the perfect moment. & i love her!
 
i am thankful for my husband. he has been so incredibly patient with me while i figure out everything that's going on. he supports me. he is there for me. & he offers his advice when needed. he is the perfect man for me. it's an indescribable feeling to know how much someone loves you & won't ever leave you alone.
 
i am thankful for therapy. it's silly. i have talked to more than one therapist & i came to the conclusion that they're all just a little weird. then one night, lookin around the internet, came across a man who seemed to have some sort of spark. i called him. at 10pm. he called me back at 10:30. and we talked. and set an appointment. and that one appointment has already changed my life for the better.
 
i am just so humbled. i haven't been this happy in a little bit. & i feel like no matter what is going on, it will get better. i didn't think it would. & i thought my life was toast for awhile. but no. it will get better. if you will just trust in the lord. & do what you're supposed to, of course. if you're having a bad day, a bad week, bad months, or a few bad years, get down on your knees & pray! just pour your heart out & you will feel comfort. and like i said above, it will get better. trust me on that one.
 
 
 
 


9 comments

  1. Loved reading this! I'm glad you've been feeling better. It's amazing just how much Heavenly Father helps when we keep coming back to him. Love you girl!

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  2. Girl, you are amazing and I love this. Your posts are always so thought provoking!! :)

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  3. I agree, sometimes I wonder if I have truly been converted also! Its something that I strive for also being brought up in the LDS faith. I think that forgiving ourselves is often one of the hardest things! Something I definitely struggle with also (If you figure out any tips I would sure love them ha). I think we are too hard on ourselves, I find I have to take a step back and look at myself in heavenly fathers perspective and realize that somethings that I worry about or stress about don't even really matter in the long run! Good luck girly! I love your posts, and think you are an amazing girl (ha through reading your blog)!

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  4. I love you. The end. <3 <3

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  5. Amanda, you are amazing! I'm so glad that we are blogging friends! Thank you for sharing your struggles and successes with everyone!

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  6. So this whole post had me in tears, from the get go. I have a sneaky suspicion that someone definitely knew that we both needed someone in each of our lives that was experiencing trials that were similar to help each other and to grow. Cuz seriously, all the quotes and such, I've needed them more than is explainable. Love you! You are fantastic.

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  7. This is funny because I was thinking the exact same thing. We had a kid confirmed sunday in sacrament, his friends family helped him along the way, and it was amazing to see how this gospel works. Sometimes we get lost in the logistics and put ourselves down for things. But if you take a step back and look at it from the worlds perspective look at how amazing you are doing. You are living your life for the better, though a few human bumps along the way. I forget how lucky I am to live in what I call the bubble. Mormon Metropolis. There's a lot more support here. And thank the lord for amazing husbands. How would we ever get through these trials without them. I am so glad to hear such strong testimonies from fellow bloggers. It is so nice to hear these things! I hope you continue feeling better about things!

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  8. Random comment - Did you ever get that book?

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  9. Thank you so much, I really needed this post!
    I'm not sure if this is too personal, but would you mind me asking who your therapist is? I've been looking for one for years that doesn't make me feel like I've escaped the looney bin!

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Thank you for taking time out of your day to comment. I hope you have a fabulous day and find something to smile about.