when i first realized i fell in love, it was shocking to me. i cried at the thought of it. i cried thinking that this wonderful perfect man would potentially be my husband someday. i was a baby. i think that one of the reasons why it was so shocking to me was because of the heartbreak i was experiencing prior to that. i remember after my first date with him, deep down, i knew i loved him. i called my sister & asked her how her feelings were toward her first date with her husband. they were the exact same. wellp. i am now one of those people i used to make fun of. the people i thought were absolutely crazy for loving every part of someone...on the first date.
oh, by the way, look at us. we were babies! this was our first picture taken together. it was also right before we made out for the first time. in case you wanted to know?
so it was weird. love. was. weird. i found it super silly how every guy i claimed to "love" before trevor wasn't love. it wasn't simple like this. it didn't come easy. i was never my whole self. but with trevor, everything came easy. i guess i wanted to write this in hopes of inspiring someone and even inspiring myself to go back to the moment i laid eyes on him. basically, i hope everyone knows..married or not, that God definitely looks out for each one of us. i probably was in the worst state i had ever been in my life prior to meeting mr. schroeder.
i know it gets better. i just know. to some, that happiness you need in your life might not be marriage. or maybe it's a brand new baby to bless & strengthen your life. our plan is absolutely insane to me. i still can't wrap my mind around it all. how one moment, i am so incredibly lost. lost to the point where i am asking God to help me because i truly can't go on any longer. then one month later, my life does a 180, & i am as happy as i've ever been. everything was perfect. everything ran smoothly. God is good, people. God is so so good.
& now, you can call me a cheese ball. after meeting mr. schroeder, i was so annoying. i couldn't stop taking pictures of him, pictures of us, every little detail of his life. i wanted to be a part of all of it. like this:
what am i doing? hey. pose with that grocery cart while i take a picture of you. like..what?
moral of the story? press on. hold on. and hang on so tight. if you're having a hard time, it won't be forever. i promise. mr. schroeder is my angel. he saved me from hitting rock bottom. well, my rock bottom. & he is my proof. that God really is there. and He sure knows what he's doing.