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the ugly p word.

i hate the word: pornography. i don't know why. maybe it's just because i know what it can do to people & their relationships so i just automatically cringe at the thought of it. i think raising awareness about pornography is absolutely crucial. it destroys families & it destroys spirits. it is a serious thing. when i was in high school & college, and even now, i still think people are completely oblivious to the outrageous statistics of pornography. 

i found some completely disturbing & shocking facts on united families international blog about pornography. i wanted to share them with the world so people understand how serious pornography really is.

• every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography.
• 40 million american's are regular visitors to porn sites. 
• 1 in 3 porn viewers are women.
• utah has the highest online porn subscription rate.
• the most popular day of the week for viewing porn is sunday.

this is absolutely insane. 40 million american's are regular visitors? did you see how much was being spent every second? it's sickening. 


i dated a boy who was heavily addicted to pornography. at least i only found out about this one boy. after seeking council from my bishop, he told me that he believes everybody would be shocked at how many men view pornography. he told me to have a serious conversation with this boy & tell him it was the pornography or me. let's just say that boy didn't choose me.  bishop also told me that the second i start to get serious with a boy, to have a serious conversation with him and ask him when the last time he viewed pornography was. why? because nearly every man has seen pornography at least once in their life. i think everyone should have that conversation before marriage. because if you marry a man or woman who is highly addictive to porn, that could be a big issue. i am blessed to have married a respectful man who hasn't faced with this problem.

 i have seen pornography destroy families. and the men aren't the only ones to blame. 1 in 3 women view it, too. and yes, words are pornographic, too. it is completely heartbreaking & destroys souls, families, relationships, everything.

i got a few super great comments stressing how we need to be supportive. and i completely agree. i hope many don't think i was bashing on viewers of pornography. because all i am wanting to do is raise awareness. if your significant other, parent, or whatever it may be is involved in pornography, love them through it. really really love them through it. they need the help & support. and i truly believe every addiction can be conquered. 

i viewed a girl's blog & this guy was bashing her & her beliefs. going off about how pornography doesn't destroy anything. it doesn't do anything to your brain, to your body or to your relationships. well looky what i found. how is this not true? 


if you or someone you love is addicted to pornography & seeking help, click here. 
i don't think i could stop talking about this topic just from what i have seen in my life. this is a big deal. & help must be received.

oop ps, i'm participating in a giveaway over at amberly & joe's blog. click here to go there! 





20 comments

  1. It really is so prominent. I was shocked I find out in the dating world how many guys actually were addicted to it. So disturbing! I was at media play back when media play existed and met an old friend there and he had a big ole stack of porn. And he had a gorgeous wife and beautiful baby boy... And he had to resort to that crap to get his jollies? If you want to see boobs ask your wife if your frisky ask your wife. Thanks Amanda :) love this

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    1. If you noticed, pornography changes your brain. He could have the hottest wife and it wouldn't matter. Pornography is more than just getting the hottest thing you can find. It's a really difficult addiction and I think we need to be more sensitive on the subject. But that's just my opinion. (But yes, it is very sad that while he had a beautiful family, that this was happening.)

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  2. i wish more women (especially LDS) understood how ridiculously prevalent this is! this is a topic i am very passionate about as well. i think girls need to understand too that when they dress immodestly, they are actually becoming porogrpahy to all those men struggling with it. who wants that?? I'm glad you addressed this. i hope it opens some people's eyes about it. it really can ruin lives and families, and i just wish more people were aware of the dangers of it!

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  3. This is a great post! I like it a lot! Way to be blunt and say what you feel! :)

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  4. Oh, and p.s. Those statistics were shocking! Wow!

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  5. Ironic that this should be your post today: I fall asleep watching TV every night (before Derek comes to bed). Usually he comes in once i'm asleep and changes it to ESPN. I guess last night he was watching a movie and fell asleep - after the movie was porn. I got woken up by the porn at about 1:30 (he had no idea because he fell asleep during his movie). i could not stop laughing...

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  6. I read this earlier in the morning and literally it was an answer to prayer. Thank you Amanda.

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  7. i'm glad you posted this!! i'm going to share the link on my blog today! :)

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  8. Hey girl! great post! I wrote one similar to yours a few weeks ago!

    http://heather-lawlesslife.blogspot.com/2013/03/xxx.html

    People need to know how much this thing can destroy!

    xox- Heather

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  9. I love that you tackled a very touchy subject on your blog. I feel very strongly about this subject as well. I just wanted to add something for all the single ladies out there. Just because a man is addicted to pornography or has succumbed to it at some point in his life, doesn't mean he's filthy and isn't worth pursuing. We women can be the reason they stop. Or we can at least help them. I agree that you shouldn't go into a marriage if they are still having problems, but I also think that just because you find out he has a problem, doesn't mean to leave him on the curb. I know they will never be able to completely destroy any past images seared into their brain (and that's hard for us jealous women to get over) but past pornography or even current pornography does not equal bad man. We can make a difference if we open our hearts more and help, rather than ridiculing and judging. (But of course be smart, because YES it does destroy families!) Thanks again for the post. I think I want to write my own now. :)

    lottsofsmiles.blogspot.com

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    1. Leah thank you so much for your comment! I couldn't agree with you more. If someone has an addiction, it most definitely doesn't mean they are a bad person. At all! It has been said that EVERYONE in their lifetime will experience an addiction. I completely agree to help a man work through the issue. But at the same time, I still stand by my, "It's the porn or me" philosophy. Thank you!

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  10. It really is terrible. And most people think it's no big deal. It causes an array of problems. Emotionally, physically & most certainly spiritually. So glad you stepped up & shared about the matter. Wish I had the guts to do the same! There is also a great site called XXX Church that helps people who are addicted too. And a really awesome program called Covenant Eyes that helps filter / keeps people accountable while online if anyone wants to check it out!

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  11. This is such a tough subject. And what makes it even more difficult is that our society has really blurred the lines between what is and what isn't pornography. Some music videos and mainstream movies or even popular music can definitely be pornographic but for whatever reason, we don't put those in the same category of blatant self-professed pornography. I think those grey areas are what seriously contribute to the beginning stages of addiction. So sad.

    And on a whole other note - I am a firm believer in the idea of free agency - people can do whatever they want! But they have to accept the consequences. One of the scary things about addiction to pornography is that the consequences can be so varied (affecting different aspects of life, different depths or severity of impact, etc.).

    Ayieee. Way to bring up a heavy subject! Haha, but seriously, it's good for us all to be aware.

    Thanks and love, L

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  12. I'm so glad you posted this. I also dated someone who struggled with this problem, but I wasn't smart enough to get out of the relationship and it did nothing but cause trouble for me. I didn't think that him being addicted to pornography was something that would ever affect me, but I was wrong. I think more people really need to be aware of the problems that it can cause.

    I love the way you can talk about such intense subjects, girl! I wish I was as brave as you.

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  13. I love this post. I am lucky enough to have not come across this awful addiction in life. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to go through this with someone you love. Kudos to you for raising awareness! :)

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  14. Thanks for speaking to this! I grew up not realizing how MUCH of a struggle this is for men, even good God-fearing ones too. One experience as a teen/young boy can affect them the rest of their lives...and the woman may they later marry.

    My husband has struggled with this in his past, and when I first found out it truly broke my heart...I was just so sad for him. For my hubs, he went to this as a way to fill the emotional needs/wounds/issues his own parents never helped him through and/or address. Praise God though, he is working so hard at this and he has made such strives. He has and still gets the help he needs to recover from me and good therapist. I'm so proud of him for facing it all head on, never giving up, getting the right help, and running to the Lord...who alone can fill our desires for true intimacy.
    thanks for this post:)

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  15. Another good resource for information on pornography and how it effects the brain and body as a drug is the book He Restoreth My Soul. In this book Dr. Hilton goes in depth and compares a Porn/Sex addicts mind to a drug addict's mind. It's scarey how similar they are. I know multiple people who have struggled with pornography addictions, and I also know Multiple people who are overcoming their addictions. It's incredible to see people overcome something so hard, and to know that they're coming closer to Christ because of it.

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  16. Pornography is a pretty scary thing and it ruins a lot of good relationships. But I'm glad that there are at least things we can do to try to stay away from it. For example my husband and I always use the computer in the main room so there are no closed doors and we can always see what the other one is looking at. It helps to build our trust in each other and helps to make sure we stay on the right path.

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  17. I also dated a young man who had this struggle. We had just bought an engagement ring and had all of the serious conversations on this topic in the world, but he lied. I am really grateful I had a prompting. I was committed to working it out if he wanted to, but it wasn't something he wanted to do. I'm grateful I had that experience though because it taught me a lot. Of course, it has taken several years for me to think that :)

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  18. Wow. This is a great post. I knew it destroyed but I didn't know that it affected so much. Thanks for sharing.

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