Marriage

Marriage
Marriage

Happiness

Happiness
Happiness

Trials

Trials
Trials

My allergies to negative people have settled

Recently, I wrote a post about how I felt like a couple of my friendships were one sided & how I am so exhausted from trying so hard. I made a pact with myself (and Trevor encouraged me, too) to completely withdraw. Not to stop caring completely, because I will always care about certain people I love, however, how he challenged me to not put so much effort into someone that isn't put as much effort back. For example: instead of texting a certain someone DAILY to see how they are, just don't. If they text you, great! If not, then there you go. There's your answer. So guess what? NONE of these particular friends have texted me. It's been kind of crazy, but I've had this attitude of, "I'm just being chill and I don't care anymore because my husband is my world." It has been so nice. It's been nice not having to go home and cry over someone who just doesn't care about me anymore. It's been nice to focus MORE on my relationship with my family and my husband. It's been so rewarding to me! Do I have friends and people I care about still? Well, duh. Though I've had to be the kind of friend I don't want to be sometimes, it's so refreshing to take a step back, breathe, and let time show you what is meant to happen. I have learned to love myself again, I've learned to spend more time and effort into my marriage. Ah. Life is just wonderful right now. And I never thought I'd have to withdraw myself from people I love to feel like this. But I'm loving it. A lot. 

6 comments

  1. I hope I'm not one of these friends!! I love you, and I'm sorry I am so back at keeping up with people!! Lol good for you though. This is 100% of the reason that I gave up facebook too, people thought that they were "in touch" with me by looking at my pictures, and never talked to me. Nope, not gonna work. Love you much girl!!

    Heather

    ReplyDelete
  2. I did this a few months ago and it's literally been months since I've heard from my "best friend" - it was SO one sided lately and just draining. I'm over it though. It's been nice to realize who my true friends are :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love this post. Well said. I know this all too well(sadly).. and have had to evaluate my friends over the years. I always use the motto "Don't make someone a priority when they make you an option". It's such a hard thing to do sometimes when that person or people meant so much to you at one point in your life and you've shared so many great memories with them. It sure puts things into great perspective and you really come to know your true friends. Family is the best because they have to love us no matter what :) he he. Sorry that you've had to deal with this Manda! It isn't fun. Life is always throwing me curve balls and it's been interesting to see those friends that mean to much as me as I do to them & who have become my true friends over the years. loves! xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. I struggle with this daily. Thank you for sharing! I'm so glad I'm not alone! :) I had a best friend of 13 years and we were closer than ever in our entire lives right before my husband came home from his mission last year, and after he came home it was like she pulled away. I felt like she didn't want to be around me anymore, or that she just felt we couldn't be best friends because I had a boyfriend again. And now that I'm married, I struggle even more (like you talked about in your post yesterday) with feeling lonely and like I don't have friends. I will always have my husband and that is something I am learning. I've watched a best friend from college just let go and love her family and new baby girl.

    i know one day i'll learn to be okay, and feel better about the changes with marriage, but it will take some time!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I did this about 6 months after i got married (have i told you this story before? lets find out :)) with one of my BEST friends for 10 years. i stopped putting all the effort in and she didn't notice... now she will message me on fb every now and then and say how much she missed me, and thats the end. no effort to come see me or anything... it is so refreshing to just know that you don't need to spend all your time focusing on friends that don't want to put effort into being your friend. Life is happier! :) love you gal! Love the makeover as well! It's super cute!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Have I just been completely out of the blogging loop since thanksgiving??? THIS IS ADORABLE! LOVE LOVE LOVE your new setup!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking time out of your day to comment. I hope you have a fabulous day and find something to smile about.