One year ago, I would have had a heart attack to imagine posting a picture of myself without make-up on the internet. But not anymore, folks! This is me. No make-up & no filter - au naturale. This past year, I have learned a hell of a lot of things about myself. Wonderful things. Great things. Beautiful things. I have flaws, many of them. Before I got married, I had very low self esteem. It was torn down and broken because I let somebody take advantage of my feelings. Still, it was my fault, yet I didn't really like myself. I know many say that they must love themselves before they love another person. In my case, I needed Trevor's love in order to feel love for myself. I remember a particular pep talk about a year and a half ago from Mr. Schroeder himself. It was pretty strict. He began by telling me that I must learn to love myself again. He also begged me to not wear make-up anymore. So I took his challenge. I used to not be able to leave the house without make-up. But now, I can. In fact, I do most of the time. I used to have to get dolled up to even leave the house. I used to worry about what people thought about me. I used to compete. I used to compare. And it wasn't happiness. Tonight, I'm having one of those wonderful moments where I am so happy with the woman that I have become. I am happy about where I am going. I am blessed. God has given me multiple opportunities and I currently have a ridiculously strong relationship with every single important person in my life. Life is so good. I'm shocked that I can look in the mirror and not hate the person staring back at me. Instead, I smile at her. Not prideful smiles, but humble-proud smiles. Though some days it feels like one step forward, two steps back, I think the steps forward can be multiplied by 2 or 3.
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