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t to the therapy

i had to share what i learned in therapy on wednesday. i don't only think i need to benefit from it, i think everybody can benefit, as well. it's called the abc's. & it was developed by dr. albert ellis mainly to be a stress relieving exercise.

•a is the activating event - the situation or event.
•b is the belief about a - our explanation about why the situation happened.
•c is the consequence - the feelings/behaviors that our belief causes.
confusing? here is the example my therapist gave. it's pretty simple & a pretty lame reason to get angry or down. but you can kind of understand it.

a - the activating event
i am at work...waiting for mr. schroeder to come pick me up. he's 45 minutes late & won't pick up his phone. 

b - the belief about a.
oh wow. mr. schroeder is out with his friends & totally forgot about me. i'm going to be mad and pretty grumpy when he comes to pick me up because of this. that's so messed up! and it's even going to ruin the rest of my night.

c - the consequence.
mr. schroeder FINALLY comes, explains to me that he got a flat tire and left his phone at home. then i'm sitting there, mad, and i have no reason to be.

you see? we have to change the B in our equation to make the consequence a positive one. if we have no idea what was going on, we can't assume. someone cuts you off in traffic? it doesn't mean they are jerks that don't know how to drive. maybe their wife is in freakin LABOR & they're trying to get her to the hospital. you just. don't. know. so using this abc method will allow you to be calm about every situation, unless the situation calls for a temporary angry moment. 

does that make sense? 
so every single time there's something that i start to get bothered with, or even think my day might get ruined, i think of this method. i might sound completely crazy. but even from hanging out with my friends the other day....i came to the conclusion that everybody could benefit from this method. 

after telling mr. schroeder about it, he texted me later on & said he was excited to try it. hah! so here we go. i share. i apply. now you should try applying. and let me know how it went. yippy! 

8 comments

  1. I love the new blog design!
    And this is an awesome system. I'm so bad at assuming something when I don't really have the right to. It's so easy to get caught up in the moment. But I'm glad that it's helped you! Maybe I'll try to implement it in my own life as well. (:

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  2. Oh how I love this post. I have some friends right now who are assuming things that are leading to awkward contention everywhere. I can't seem to get away from it because I live in college and we're always around each other, so! Unfortunately, I have been getting upset and irritated way to easily as well. I think I might have to try out your theory :)

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  3. I do that all of the time! Not even meaning to. Good post :)

    Jessica

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  4. Thank you for sharing this!! I am sure that if I used this, most of the stupid little things that happen and that I let make me become angry would probably resolve themselves. I'm sure I'd be so much happier and less angry at all the things I let get to me :) I am totally going to use this all the time!

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  5. Thank you for sharing this!! I am sure that if I used this, most of the stupid little things that happen and that I let make me become angry would probably resolve themselves. I'm sure I'd be so much happier and less angry at all the things I let get to me :) I am totally going to use this all the time!

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  6. SOOO true! ha happens all the time! Thank you for sharing! You are a doll! as always.

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  7. Oh hey, I should try that. That's a good idea. I can be pretty quick to make assumptions like that and let it ruin my day. Thanks for sharing! :)

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