the woes of being a perfectionist

Life is a roller coaster. It just is! There’s never a moments time where I think, “Life has been going perfectly my way for years.” But, that’s okay. Also, I love quotes. I’ve always loved them. In middle school, I’d always have cut-out love and hopeless romantic quotes pasted all over my binder. This week has been a really really good one, yet, I still fall. And don’t we all? I was talking with my mother and sister about my friendship situation. I was starting to feel like I was the one with the problem because there hasn’t ever been an individual besides my husband that has equally cared about me the way I care about them. My mom gave me some incredible advice, and I took it. Trevor also sat me down a few weeks ago and said, “I learned at a young age that friends just come and go. And you need to take that, learn it, and know it.” Sooo I make mistakes, right? Who doesn’t? But at the same time, I think at times I’m a perfectionist and I am SO incredibly hard on myself. I get so down if I do something wrong and I feel so so guilty. If I hurt someone, I have to immediately apologize and I say sorry countless times. So I get pretty mad at myself! I have a hard time forgiving myself and just letting go of the mistakes I made . I talked to my mom about it for a little bit and she said, “I was the same exact way when I was married. I’d feel so guilty if I got home after dad did, or if I didn’t have dinner ready at the exact moment it should be.” So I guess it’s hereditary. Worrying, being a perfectionist about the kind of person you are, and feeling guilt over little things is something I got from my mother. There’s a quote that has stood out to me ever since I realized this about myself. It. Is. Amazing. 

Every time I’m having a hard time forgiving myself or letting go of something I have done, I think of this particular quote. I need to deal with the fact that I’m not perfect. I never will be. And all I can do is try my best to be the person I want to be, repent, and start new. Just like the Savior intended for us to do.
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