An IVF Cycle Down

I went back and forth with myself for days, weeks, on whether or not to post anything about our failed IVF cycle. There is a selfish side of me that thinks people are way too nosey nowadays and don't need to know the details. After my other posts about our journey, there were quite a few people who were rather impolite about what we had gone through. I realize after sharing previous stories about infertility, people just care, and want to know more.

On the other hand, other parts of me want to raise awareness, educate, let people know they're not alone, and let the vulnerable parts of me out there because it is therapeutic and healing. And today, this part wins.

Mr. Schroeder and I have officially completed multiple IUI cycles, one IVF cycle, and a frozen embryo transfer. All of those have not worked in our favor. I decided to share this picture of me and my embryo prior to transferring. I hyper-stimulated and was extremely swollen and large, so while I hate this photo of myself, I love that I'm holding a photo of something that means so much to the both of us.

I've learned so much in the past two years. So I'm incredibly grateful. I have been writing countless items in my journal about what I wish I would have done differently, what I wish I would have known, advice I'd give to others, and more. I hope to be brave enough to share all of that someday.

The process is grueling. My faith has been shaken, but then solidified. I'm so grateful to have Trevor, who is so understanding and wonderful, to go through this process with me. For now, we're taking a break. We hope to transfer more of those beautiful embryos in the near future, but have to save our pennies. Not to mention, I gotta get all this weight that I gained off my body pronto. IVF does fun things to you, folks! 

I am incredibly grateful for all of our family and friends who have been praying for us, hoping with us, and being there for us. I've had many people reach out to me asking for an update, and here it is. Right now, this is it. We're working on strengthening our relationship with each other and God. 

If there are any of you struggling with conceiving, I invite you to contact me. There's nothing like going through something without venting and talking it out with someone else. 

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