battle wounds & the bigger picture

at times, my problems seem bigger than the universe.
how they creep up on me when i least expect them,
& how nobody around me has been through the same dealings.

last night,
after leaving my parent's house,
i looked over at mr. schroeder,
and just fed him a good solid four pages of my feelings.
(those would be handwritten AND single spaced).
he listens. & he nods his head in agreement.
i was so completely annoyed that i couldn't just bottle it up inside.
i felt like i was drowning in my own self pity. 
i wasn't myself.  & i was sick of being someone i wasn't.
i had let some of the recent problems in my life define me.
it was sort of like this:
if i am wearing floral pants, and my cousin joey doesn't like floral pants,
i always watch what i wear around him because i don't want to be put down again.
i gotta quit it right now.

last night, mr. schroeder said,
"i feel like it's not you. it's not you that has the problem. it's them.
i mean, not that you are perfect. but if people are constantly scoping you out,
trying to find flaws in you, and calling you out on every little thing,
then it's them. it's not you at all. so don't change who you are."
i love that man. he can say the most simple things
yet allow me to think,
"oh wow. that was a neat lil' paragraph you just stated." 
don't let your problems become your main focus, people.



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