Marriage

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Trials

decide. right now.

before i got married, this is strictly all i heard...
"married life is the bomb. 
it is so fun.
it's a lot of hard work though.
but definitely worth it." 
when i was engaged,
i was caught up in how perfect my wedding was going to be. 
and how much i absolutely loved my perfect fiance. 
i didn't listen to all those people. 
and now, here i am... 
married to the best man out there & extremely happy.
we have come across many struggles. 
& will continue to get through them together.
the other day,
we were in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant
near my house talking to the owner. 
randomly, out of the blue, she started talking about marriage. 

"you need to decide RIGHT NOW if you two are going to make it. 
if you are going to make it, you need to work hard.
you will see countless of your friends get divorced,
& crazy things are bound to happen. 
but decide. because if you decide that you are going to make it, you will."

after leaving, 
we kind of looked at each other like, 
"what was that all about?" 
we aren't getting divorced. ever. 
nor has that conversation ever even came up. 
but i have had a trial come upon me that i need to get through.
it is testing my marriage. 
& at this moment,
those words from the owner of num nums make perfect sense. 
in a dreaded but grateful kind of way.



when our friends say they haven't had any struggles,
it's because they haven't faced any yet. duh.
i am grateful for these times. 
because my husband and i will become so much closer.
and show the world that nothing can tear us apart.



12 comments

  1. I absolutely love what she said. It's so disheartening to hear about a divorce because I can only imagine how painful it must be to walk away from the person you once loved so much. Very inspiring post. Loved every word.

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  2. I think this is so important for people to understand. People ask me a lot about my relationship and ask me how we have done it, blah blah...and I am just like...how could you ever go through *ALL OF THIS* with one person, and NOT be there at the end high-fiving each other like "hell yes, we are amazing!"...

    The woman was right. You have to be stubborn enough to shove your nose down on the pavement and refuse to see any end other than the one you promised one another. But you can't really do that until you have REALLY been through the ringer together...

    I am so proud of my Marriage and what we have been through. It makes me feel like I am strong and capable. And doing something that SO MANY people cannot do. So keep your chin up babe! you will be great! This is so encouraging to me!!

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  3. I love this post Amanda! I completely agree with what that lady said. Very interesting

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  4. some of the best advice i got before i got married was "marriage is easy if you work at it hard, and hard if you work at it easy." i've found these past 16 months that its so true - the more time and effort i'm putting into our relationship - the better it is :)

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  5. I love this! I completely agree. So inspiring! Xo

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  6. This is awesome! I think too often these days, things get a little hard for people and they think the easy way out is to just leave. What does that teach you? Nothing. So I'm happy to read this coming from you and that the owner saw the strength and love you have for each other as a couple :)

    The Indie Byline

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  7. This is really sweet. I don't think there are any couples in the world that make it all the way to death without any issues... it's only natural! The important thing is to work past them! Many years of happiness to you both - if you both truly love each other and want to make it work, it will.

    http://lasaloperie.blogspot.com.br/

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  8. ive always known that i would discuss this with my future fiance one day before we get married. my parents got divorced and my mom always told me to decide together that no matter what youre going to make it. thanks for sharing this.

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  9. Kudos on such an honest post, it can be tempting to fall into the trap of pretending things are always perfect in your marriage & that things never test you, but no one said that even the greatest of marriages aren't going to have struggles. It makes me sad to hear someone say they have never argued or had conflict with their SO/spouse when in reality they just stifle it & won't speak their mind to their partner--eventually that doesn't work anymore! Hope whatever you're going through passes quickly :)

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  10. Kudos on such an honest post, it can be tempting to fall into the trap of pretending things are always perfect in your marriage & that things never test you, but no one said that even the greatest of marriages aren't going to have struggles. It makes me sad to hear someone say they have never argued or had conflict with their SO/spouse when in reality they just stifle it & won't speak their mind to their partner--eventually that doesn't work anymore! Hope whatever you're going through passes quickly :)

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