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Mormons & Marriage

I assume since my blog is a lifestyle/marriage blog, that is why I get a lot of questions directed to me about my marriage. Recently, I got a few questions about being Mormon & being married. I've specifically got a lot of questions about sex, intimacy, and others. I'm going to try and answer these the best I can. I believe sex is an extremely sacred subject. Some LDS individuals are very open about their sex lives, but I'm not one of those. I'm happy to share my opinions on certain subjects but won't go into much detail. 


Q: Can Mormons have sex before they are married? 
 Can they? Well, sure. Everybody is given their free agency - that's the beautiful thing about this life. On the other hand, we're advised not to have sex until we are married. In order to get sealed in the temple, you must be completely clean, and not sexually active with your partner. Of course the repentance process gives us the opportunity to be forgiven. Like I mentioned above, sex is sacred & though it's a gift from God, we should share that moment with the person we are married to.

Q: Are Mormons Anti-Divorce?
When I received this question, I had a lot on my mind toward this answer. The LDS church disapproves of divorce. Our church leaders have also repeatedly spoken out against divorce & warned of the dangers of the disintegration of the family. Of course, this doesn't mean LDS members don't have marriage problems! Those who are struggling with marriage problems are encouraged to seek to reconcile differences by applying the teachings of Jesus Christ - such as repentance, humility, forgiveness, kindness, selflessness, respect, and service. Per contra, if the marriage proves irreconcilable (especially in cases of adultery, abuse, and neglect), LDS individuals may consider & obtain a divorce if necessary and still retain their standing in the church. I have had a lot of girlfriends of mine that have gotten divorces. It's completely heartbreaking, but sometimes, completely necessary.

Q: What is so special about marrying in the temple?
In my opinion, marrying in the temple is one of the greatest blessings in the church. You guys, it really is amazing. One of the greatest truths that God has reestablished through the church is that man and woman can be married for time & all eternity. Death isn't the end. Central to the theology on marriage, we can also become exalted in the highest heaven. We also believe that man can't fulfill his ultimate divine potential without a woman, nor a woman without a man. (1 Corinthians 11:11) Many of us wonder how heaven could possibly be heaven without the husband or wife we've spent a lifetime loving & serving. Mormons believe that the Lord has made unending love both possible & eternally purposeful.

Q: Is it true that Mormons can't participate in certain sexual acts once they are married?
When I was going to school at Utah State, a lot of my friends told me that there were certain acts "in the bedroom" that we should NOT participate in. When I asked my stake president a similar question, his response said something to the extent of, "What you do in your bedroom is between you, your husband, and God. Obviously, we advise against pornography & anything unnatural. But ultimately, you decide, and you keep that behind closed doors."

Q: Are the rumors true about the divorce rate being significantly lower for Mormons?
Multiple studies have found notable differences in divorce rates between LDS temple marriages & the national average. A recent study estimates the lifetime LDS temple marriage divorce rate to be about 2.5 times less than the national lifetime divorce rate.

Q: Can Mormons marry Non-Mormons?
Yes. However, most Mormons tend to marry other Mormons. A study of students at BYU indicated that 93% of men and 97% of women surveyed have an LDS temple marriage as one of their important life goals & will probably marry another Latter-day Saint. However, this doesn't mean that it is forbidden for a Mormon to marry someone of another faith, nor does it mean that a Mormon who does marry someone from another faith cannot be a fully faithful & practicing Mormon.

Q: Do Mormons believe in gay marriage? Do they hate gay people?
The LDS church does not sanction or support same-gender marriages, and "affirms defining marriage as the legal & lawful union between a man and woman." Jesus loved people, even when He did not support or authorize their behavior, such as the woman taken in adultery (John 8:3-11). Latter-day Saints strive to do the same with issues regarding homosexuality & same-gender marriage. We are encouraged to reach out with understanding & respect to individuals who have same-gender attraction. In my eyes, I love gay people as much as I love anybody else. Just because I don't believe it is consistent with God's plan of salvation, it doesn't mean that I don't believe God loves all of us as His children & that I will do the same.

Do YOU have any questions about Mormonism? If so, email me at we(n)serendipity(at)gmail.com and your question could be featured on future Mormon Monday posts!

Sources: I got a lot of help with my answers from this book.

6 comments

  1. Haha, I've never been asked what "sexual acts" we are able to do. But I guess that question makes sense considering we are so conservative. I think it's fun to be a little adventurous in the bedroom ;) as long as your partner is comfortable with it too.

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  2. You answered all of these questions perfectly and tactfully!! :)

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  3. amanda you always do SUCH a good job of explaining this is a christ-like, thorough way. and i agree, there is literally nothing better than being sealed to your best friend :)

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  4. Your answers are always so on point! I love when you answer questions about Mormons, and I'm a Mormon!

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  5. Great answers! I am so grateful for temple marriages!

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  6. I like what your stake president said! That'd your business and no one else's. This was a cool post, I think people need to talk about sex more because when I was actually married I had no idea what the heck was normal and what wasn't.

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