Going backwards

I keep asking myself, "How many times am I going to need to write about my friend situation until I'm good?"  I have wrote about my friends here, here, here and here. I keep finding myself craving for a second to write about this yet again. I suppose I'm not finished yet. In this post, I wrote about how if I need to be friend that is just "kiss butt," I will be that friend, simply because I wouldn't have this person in my life otherwise. On the other hand, I've found myself wanting nothing but the complete opposite of that. There are some things I can't do anymore, and this is one of them. It's super rough when you have someone in your life who has been through a lot with you & who even knows a lot about you, yet, you have to let them go. It's silly because I'm a grown woman. I'm an adult. Yet I'm still having to 'let some friends go.' I feel the biggest weight was lifted off my shoulders when I finally decided that I am going to just walk away. I've heard the whole, 'love them anyway' phrase, and I believe that to be true. I've heard 'maybe that friend needs you' and that could be true, as well, but in this situation, this friend doesn't need me. 

So I'm kind of in this place where I am so satisfied. But it's hard. When I got married, I lost 110% of my guy friends (which is completely understandable, too). I lost about 60% of my girlfriends.  And now, I'm looking at 10% left, simply from "de-junking" my friends. Is that the right phrase? It sounds mean. I'm really grateful for the amazing friendships I've made through blogging. I'm grateful for the friends that I do have. I've never really understood when people said that 5 friends is better than 100. But now, I suppose I get that. I hate that I had to make it this far to realize that there are some people you simply can't have in your life to progress. Better late than never though, right?

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